Shell #9
I am never clean, can never be clean
the silence precedes me
proceeding to keep me licking at salt-covered lips
leaving behind a thick film of dirt
which on me is a transparent layer of salty sweat and
tangerine fingertips
7 December 2007
I was afraid of army ants
flooding
in and out, crawling up and down
when you pumped me dry, manually in
red and green
roses and mildew
but there was no need to fear
patches of earth grow backwards
with every drip from your fingers
life-repellant
hollow breaths echo the lifelessness
up and down
I lie empty, staring
at the red on green
fingernails on skin
My stomach is koi fish in a pond and
my mind the floating white on top
at thoughts of the swirling lakes
flowing, trickling, streams
slowly gushing out
and smeared in lines on my belly
Your masculine sense turns innocence
Feminine after all
19 September 2007
Splint Split Sideways (traingoesby)
How far is Boston?
Starlight, bright pinpoints, streak across the sky
shivering
convulsions, heave to live
one bright light dotted line to my pupil
Train tracks
clack
clickclickclackClackCLACK
whistling and it moans
lamenting
train
goes by
how far does the train run to go back to Boston?
Smoke seeps slipping
slinking sinking in the cold night air
Red embers creep closer with every taken breath
Ashes warm to mend my broken parts
And my eyes wander from smoke to star
to a place out of sight a place behind the eyes
following the train tracks clackCLACK to
Boston
to the one bright star yellow flashing in the night
30 September
2007
SHELL # 4
slipping slipping slipping slipping
I smell leaves
burning
intricate African professions of love
sigh against the skin
I feel
brain pulsing, body swaying
Mushroom cloud euphoria
Blink and you’re gone
blink and you
go slipping off this
Hazy gaze maze
well
lessons well up and down swell
larger, slowly
felt ringing wringing hands
arms
body, full swing
twist and lumps of flesh mold together
mold and moss trickle, tip,
overthrow
therein lie heavenly ladies strewn
about misconstrued meaning leaning
over
into treetops, ghastly rooftops
of buildings killing to thrill
SHELL #5 Macabea Singing
Protected, contained
by the serene
perfection and beauty,
the grotesque aspects
behind the screen-- not for me.
I, given the stench of
the body stains, yellow,
in the world,
ignore the
disfigured faces.
Ignore Macabea singing.
Ask Me
Ask
me, pleading
Ask me freely
Ask me
Sweetly
Playing,
Emotions
amusement
Paying, they don’t love you anyway.
They
Don’t
Praying they all hate you
Off your influence,
Try so hard and stare
Stare and stare
Tweak, they say
They say, you tweak
Shudder, gasp
Grasp and clasp
Lied to you
You lied too
You all lie
You all
You
Lay me out
In return denial
Funneled anger
Becomes denial
Asking me, you
You Lie
Unwillingly Mine
You said you
oved me
As you pinned me down
As we rushed in hushed voices
For fear of who
may be below
You said it was the best you ever had
Excuse for a man, what a
nasally voice
What a girlish figure you have
What scary white teeth!
“
Please eat me next!” cried Little Red Riding Hood
As she laid down for the wolf
When longing turns to craving and craving to lust
When you’re letting
him in just to feel his touch
When you feel him moving back and forth
Will you play
his doll just one more time?
Will you smile and save the panic for later?
Your costume came up when your mask went down
And I watched with horror what you were
doing to me
I shed my red cape and I walked away
Buried it all
Turned anger at
myself to anger at you
I, tried to bury it all
But just one photograph can
set it off
One line in a song, one feeling you once gave me
Screech shudder and
clasp
Sink to my knees, vomit the guilt
The music takes over and I hear your name
The big bad wolf is back to play
And he’s huffing and puffing and blowing
me down
Onto my knees, spiraling again
Melting slowly and gasping for flesh
Supple, balmy, smooth, breathless
The red cape cast aside
This all started
so long ago
But she’s still lying in the cabin in the woods
Waiting for her
wolf to come
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